


Training

by Allonsy86



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Major character death - Freeform, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 16:33:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3074495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allonsy86/pseuds/Allonsy86
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>****Spoilers for 3x09****</p><p>After the events of "The Climb", Felicity asks her teammates to help her with a goal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Training

**Author's Note:**

> The muse is a little lacking on my other story, but this one sunk it's teeth into me this morning after I woke up. So here it is. 
> 
> Please be gentle, I'm still new to this.  
> Happy New Year Everyone!

'I want to do the salmon ladder.' Her voice was scratchy and barely above a whisper.

 

'Say that again, Blondie?' Roy asked, leaning in closer to her desk.

 

She swallowed and wiped her eyes. 'I-I want to do the salmon ladder. Ol- _he_ did it all the time so I just.' Felicity let out a small huff. 'I want to do it for him.'

 

Roy took in the woman in front of him. Her tears had stopped but he knew she was still devastated. They all were. It was a month after his passing and they couldn't say his name without someone breaking down or taking a sharp inhale to keep it together.

 

If this is how she needed to work through her grief, he'd help her. 'Ok, I'll help you train for the salmon ladder.'

 

'Thank you,' she gave a small smile, not quite reaching her eyes, but bigger than any other she'd given since he died.

 

>>\--->

 

They started the next day. Felicity had been a casual runner so she had some small semblance of endurance but almost none of the upper body strength the salmon ladder required.

 

Roy filled Diggle in as he clung to the bar on the salmon ladder, trying to hold herself up as long as possible.

 

"Well, if it gives her focus," he quietly acquiesced.

 

Together they set her up on a strict training regime. Push-ups, pull ups, sit ups -- all sorts of exercises to help her get fit and set the pace to reach her goal.

 

"The ladder isn't just about your upper body, Felicity," Diggle explained, "You have to train your whole body."

 

>>\--->

 

Two weeks into her training, she asked Ray for a sabbatical. It was hard to do her work outs, her day job, and her night job. She told him she'd suffered a sudden loss and was having a tough time.

 

"Take the time you need, Felicity," he said. "We'll contact you if we need you for anything in the meantime."

 

A small weight felt like it had been lifted from her. She could do this. "Thank you, Ray."

 

>>\--->

 

A month into training, she found _his_ iPod. It had been stashed under the workout towels. As she reached for the last one in the locker, it tumbled to the floor. Felicity had quickly palmed it and placed it reverently on her desk as it recharged.

 

Roy and Diggle came in the next morning, greeted with the sounds of Imagine Dragons and Bastille as Felicity worked through some planks, Russian twists, and pull ups.

 

As Roy opened his mouth to question her sudden choice in playlist, Dig stopped him. "It's _his_ ," he whispered.

 

It became a common occurrence that this playlist was played while they worked out.

 

As Felicity left one day, she spied Roy digging into his pockets for his own iPod. "What are you doing?"

 

Roy looked at her sheepishly. "I - uh -- memorized the playlist and put it on my own." She gave him a slight smile and patted his arm. 

 

>>\--->

 

Two months into training, Felicity realized some changes. Her hands that were once soft and smooth now had callouses and were rough. (The gloves Diggle had provided to help ward off blisters had been discarded last month. If _he_ didn't use them, she wouldn't.) She was no longer painfully sore. There were dull aches but never anything like the first month.

 

Perhaps the biggest change was in her physique. Soft arms had become firmer and more defined. She noticed a slightly flatter stomach and firmer legs. Working out 5 days a week was doing wonders for her.

 

>>\--->

 

Two and a half months into training, Laurel showed up, ready to be a vigilante.  Roy and Diggle were hesitant. _He_ hadn't wanted Laurel to have this lifestyle. Why should they?

 

"You have to prove yourself, " Felicity piped up while the men mulled over Laurel's grand 'there's only two of you and you need help' speech. "Dig, take her on a milk run. If she proves herself, we'll talk."

 

Laurel gave a small grin while Diggle scowled a bit. They suited up and left for patrol, Roy hanging back.

 

"Why?" He asked.

 

She shrugged. "She's got two people to prove herself to now. And they won't be able to voice their opinion. So if this is what it takes for her to process their….uh," she swallowed, " their… absence, then we should help. Laurel shouldn't go through it alone."

 

The next morning, Felicity was trying her hand at the ladder. Pull ups were now easier than before, but she couldn't quite get the far to move.

 

Frustrated, she let herself drop.

 

"What are you doing?" Laurel suddenly blurted out. Felicity startled at the noise. "I mean, why the salmon ladder?"

 

Felicity pursed her lips. She's asked herself that every day since they had received the news. She gave a sad smile. "For all the things we left unsaid." She finally voiced. "Because someone needs to do it in _his_ place. Because if I do it, I think it will feel like there's a piece of _him_ with me."  Her eyes watered and she closed them. "But most of all, to prove to myself that I am strong."

 

Laurel gave a quick nod. "If there's anything I can do to help, just say the word."

 

>>\--->

 

It took 3 months to get the bar from the first rung to the second. The clang signaling satisfaction came after a long week.

 

They had lost the bad guy. Roy had bruised his ribs and Laurel badly sprained her ankle in the process. Diggle was the only one at full health. No one had truly slept in days.

 

Determined to get one thing right, Felicity set off to move the bar in the ladder. She tried to find that moment of weightlessness Ol- _he_ had always talked about. The 'Zen' moment, it was called. She swung out, felt the weightlessness,  lifted the bar up and out … and promptly fell on her ass.

 

Felicity swallowed hard. She wasn't embarrassed. She'd fallen off the ladder so many times that Diggle had added another layer of mats in an effort to protect her.  She wasn't angry but she wasn't ready to get back on the ladder.

 

Roy ventured over to make sure she was ok, silently extending his hand. She let him pull her up, gave a curt nod, and quickly headed for the showers.

 

There she sobbed.

 

Her hot tears mixed with the scalding water as she let go. She felt… she felt like she'd let them all down. All this time and she still couldn't get to the next rung. She let herself grieve, rant, and bemoan the promises she made while she questioned her abilities and sanity.  

 

Felicity wasn't sure how long she spent in the bathroom. Her teammates were good about giving each other privacy. She let out a shaky huff as she turned out the water.

 

Suddenly, she could hear a voice. Just a whisper, an echo of the past.

 

"You are remarkable." She drew herself up. The room was empty, save for her but yet, she heard it again. "You are remarkable."

 

"Thank you for remarking on it," she whispered.  Toweling off quickly, she pulled back on her workout clothes and rushed out to the ladder.  Her three teammates looked at her as she all but sprinted across the Foundry floor.

 

"Felicity?" Diggle asked.

 

She pushed her wet hair behind her shoulders and wiped her hands on her thighs. "I'm remarkable, Dig."

 

Roy and Laurel shared a look. "What?" the young man asked.

 

Laurel shook her head. "Don't look at me. I didn't get the memo."

 

Felicity gripped the bar and worked on pull ups, adding her little dance move to the end. "I am remarkable," she whispered. Feeling the weightlessness, she quickly pulled the bar out and into the second rung. She tried for the third rung but failed, tumbling to the ground. Her teammates rushed forward.

 

"I did it!" she cried. "I made it to the second rung! I can do it! Watch out, the rest of the ladder is around the corner." Her face lit up with her joy. It was infectious -- soon everyone was smiling.

 

>>\--->

 

Five months later, Felicity had become a pro. She rarely fell from the ladder by accident now.  The clanging of the bar on the ladder was frequent and comforting.

 

She was busy working the ladder when a pair of heavy steps thudded down into the Foundry.

 

"Be with you in a minute, Dig. Just finishing up here!" She cried as she placed the bar into another rung.

 

"Felicity?"  No, it can't be. She faltered, the bar connected on one side but missed the other and she fell to the ground on her face.

 

Strong hands gently turned her over and she came face to face with piercing blue eyes.

 

"Are you ok?"

 

"Ol-Oliver?"

 

He nodded. "You learned the ladder?"

 

She smiled and felt a tear trail down her cheek. "Yeah, someone had to use it. It was getting dusty."

 

"You, Felicity Smoak, are remarkable."

 

"Thank you for remarking on it. Again."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!


End file.
